I had the honor of being invited as a guest speaker at the National Day of Remembrance for Murder Victims on September 21, 2024. The event was hosted by Parents of Murdered Children at the Children's Memorial Park, located at 4875 N. 15th Place in Tucson, AZ.
I would like to share the speech that I delivered that day.
My son, Michael.
Michael is the 2nd child in a line-up of four. His siblings are older brother Nicholas, and two younger sisters Kelly and Hailey. Michael entered this world on February 25, 1986, at
28 weeks gestation weighing in at a whopping 910 grams, and was 13 inches tall. ”Slam Dunk” he was nicknamed by the doctors and nurses in the NICU because he was going to beat the odds like a great Slam Dunk! His last name was Duncklee, so that probably played a part in his nickname too.
He was the most beautiful baby with long curly black hair, dark brown eyes, and the longest eyelashes you could ever imagine. The lash industry couldn’t hold a candle to Mikes's “real deal’ lashes – his were exceptional!
As the years passed, Michael grew to a whopping 6 ft. tall, broad shouldered, 190 lbs. of love. My tiny preemie had beat all the odds and became a kind, big hearted, fun loving man.
Some folks value money, things, achievements or recognition. Michael valued something far greater, he valued his family, friends, people from all walks of life, and life in general.
Michael was a breath of fresh air when he walked into a room.
He gave the best hugs – I miss his hugs.
Michael loved life. He enjoyed it and it was his upbeat attitude towards life that allowed him to live it to the fullest. He was an avid BMX-er and MX-er growing up. He and his brother rode their bikes and hit the desert trails all over Tucson growing up.
He was genuine. He loved to laugh and make people laugh. He loved harassing his siblings, and nicknamed his sisters Stinks and Little Stinks.
He saw the best in everyone. He treated everyone as an equal. He was respectful of his elders. He always had time for others, even if just to listen. He never said "no" to anyone.
Michael was selfless.
He had a GOLDEN HEART that allowed him not only to enjoy life, but to give life to others.
Michael’s life was taken on May 21, 2014. He was 28 years old when he left this world.
Michael’s death left a void in our hearts and our family. We suffered everyday, and even more so when family milestones are reached and celebrations happen. We had no idea how to maneuver this new way of life. So, instead, we put on our “masks” and trudged through each day.
Eventually, we found this wonderful group of survivors who understood and spoke our language. They helped us learn how to live in our new life again.
What we have learned over the past 10 years is:
We are still a family, ours just looks different. I see the hearts Michael, thank you for letting us know you’re with us.
Breathing is not so difficult anymore
The pain will never go away, it just changes
It’s ok to feel joy and laugh again
And, it’s okay to cry or feel sad some days
Life goes on, and Michael moves forward with us
Love has no boundaries - I never thought my heart could radiate as far as the heavens.
I will miss my son for the rest of my life.
We Love You Michael - You Are Our Everything!
